according to billboard.com, d’angelo is “making progress” on his new album, which will be the first since i graduated high school. ive been outta high school for like 50 years (read: 8).
yeah, i dont believe it. shame on u if u fool me once. shame on me if u fool me twice. remember that weird ass mumble jumble wtf-is-he-saying single he put out awhile ago? i was like okay, its cool… at least i get to hear me some d’angelo again, even if i DONT know wtf he’s sayin. i can listen to this til the rest comes out.
lmao @ the rest. WHERE THE FRICK IS THE REST, HUH?!
so here’s how we’ll get him out of hiding. i present to you: the D’Ange-Trap (patent pending). to construct it, you’ll need one (1) REALLY big box–like super gigantic big–one (1) really big stick, at least 5 ft 6 inches; one (1) portly, scantily clad woman of approx. 250 lbs and of no taller height than 5 foot 3 inches; one (1) buffet full of Denny’s speciality; and one (1) buffet full of assorted cracks, cocaines, and pipes.
so we put all that shit beneath the really big box, prop it up with the stick, wrap a rope around the stick and hide in wait. D’Angelo (i assume he’s nocturnal) will likely scamper up to the bounty in the middle of the night, and when he does, WHAMO! we pull the stick, box falls down, D’Angelo is trapped!
until he runs through all the buffets and decides to eat the box. then he’s gone again.