um, joe jackson, wtf?

got this from the good ppls @ postbourgie.

okay.  maybe he’s crazy with grief.  but i think its common knowledge that he’s just fucking crazy, flat out.  promoting ur business at a time like this?

how do u grow up sane with this behind the wheel? blood is on the dancefloor, blood is on… joe jackson’s hands?

a quick post-script:  things will be slow around here for a little while; im in the middle of a humungous, annoying move from philly to louisville, ky.  so im alive!  and i havent forgotten abt u!  im just being tortured with boxes and packing tape!

bad idea of the day

really, white people?  yall thought this was wise?

fun with google image search: diabeetus!

known also as:  ‘The Sugar’

possibly the most awesome book ever.

holy  balls!!  i cant even remember what delicious path of light and luck i was travelling down when i stumbled upon this gem but, omg.  this shit is marvelous for several reasons, which i shall detail to you right here and right now.

1.  the title. this book is called BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!  just like that.  all capital letters.  think im lyin?  look up there at the book cover.

2.  the cover. between everything being written in capital letters, and my  girl’s hair and outfit, its safe to say that the only thing that can make this cover any better is ninjas and unicorns.  also, i dont know if u can see it, but beneath that lovely picture is a little by-line that gives u a hint to the goodness to be had once you compose yourself enough to get past the brilliance of the cover and actually open the book:  MANY FALSE CHRIST MARRIAGES ARE LIVING ON BIRTH CONTROL AND NOW LEADING THE AMERICAN CHURCH WEALTH!  o shit!  u see that exclamation point?  its about to get real!

oh also i should point this out… dont let the early 90s bumper curl fool you.  this book was published in 2008.

3.  the entire book is written in capital letters. i shit you not.  look at this screenshot:

fuck yeah, philadelphia!

if ever there was a time for me to be a proud semi-philadelphian

well first let me say that i really really hope the guy whose ass they beat is the guy who committed this crime

then let me say… HELL YEAH!  BEAT HIS ASS!!  then tattoo ‘I RAPE BABIES’ on his forehead and throw his ass in a cell with a bunch of really, really large men who think he has a pretty mouth.

dudes who beat this guy’s ass wont face charges.  the official reaction of the president of the fraternal order of police:  ‘so be it.’  i love it.  plus it looks like they get reward money!

Video: Rape ‘Person Of
Interest’ Beaten

PHILADELPHIA – A stunning videotape has emerged in the rape case of an 11-year-old girl, showing neighbors beating the “person of interest” who’s now hospitalized.

Slideshow: Beating Caught On Tape

Related: ‘Person Of Interest’ In Rape Hospitalized

It happened around 3:30 p.m. Tuesday at Front Street and Clearfield Street in the city’s Kensington section.

Fox 29’s Jeff Cole spoke to some of the people involved in the incident.

The surveillance video, from a corner convenience store, shows 26-year-old Jose Carrasquillo being chased by at least three people, one of whom hits him several times with what appears to be a bat or large stick. As they chase the man, a crowd gathers. A police officer arrives, and the video cuts off.

It was unclear Tuesday night whether anyone would be charged in the beating. Philadelphia Police Lieutenant Frank Vanore said he was sure police will “look at it.”

fun with google image search!

so sometimes when im at my computer and extra bored, i’ll think of a random word and do a google image search on it and laugh at the random pictures i get.  today’s word:  racist.  fun times ahead!

deadliest warrior shaolin monk vs maori recap

this blog isnt about me, but id like to tell you a little bit about myself.

i was born and raised in louisville, ky and raised by a single mother.  she and i look a lot alike, and as i grew older i discovered we have a lot of the same talents.  i started writing poetry when i was 8 years old up until i was about 18.  somewhere in between then, i found a book that my mother used to keep as a young woman.  on the pages were poems she had written by hand for years.  writing is pretty much the only thing id really shown a passion for as i went through school, and by the time i hit high school, it was pretty much assumed that whatever i would end up doing in life would involve writing.  first i wanted to be a published and famous poet.  then a playwright, and now.. novelist?  screenwriter?  i dont know yet. that’s why i started this blog, to keep me writing something, anything, until i figure it out.

but to hell with all that shit now yo.  i want to be a fuckin SHAOLIN MONK!!!!

i totally fell in love with them last night.  i mean i already knew they were awesome, but i think in my head they were just like these little cute guys who knew some form of martial arts but used them more so for like, street performances and such.  their moves always looked pretty as opposed to instilling fear in me.  no, these dudes will kill the life out of you.  or at least they can.  they prefer not to, but holy son of a bitch, they will.

going into this matchup i knew little abt both groups, but i knew that the maori were brutal.  and i mean we saw one bite the throat out of an opponent in the re-enactments.  they also liked to scare the shit out of u, too, hence the tattooed faces and the yellin and the screamin and whatnot.  oh, they were cannibals too.  see this face?

hi! these are my tonsils. AND YOUR GRAVE!!

they opened their mouths and stuck out their tongues to say ‘after i kill u, im going to eat you, and u will be able to do nothing about it seeing as how you’ll be dead.  nyah nyah!”  ..yeah. all that coolness considered, i still wanted the monks to win.  just cause they’re so freakin cute!!  all the jumpin and the ‘hi-yaaah!’in and the splits in the middle of a move for seemingly no reason.  precious!

spoilers (eventually) after the jump!

worst boob job ever in the history of life of the day

son of a bitch, man.

this is one of those broads from the real housewives of some place or other.

…son.  like, how u gon put some boobs in a place that boobs dont even grow and expect it to look realistic?  he put them shits in her armpits.  aaabnormal.

and this is one of those times where im torn between being happy that she’s confident enough to put her praying mantis eyed-boobs on display for everyone to see and being sad that she apparently doesnt know they look like a pair of klackers on the upswing.

sad times foreveryone.

(pics via the huffington post)

behind the scenes @ deadliest warrior

hi all!

i know, i know.  this place is becoming deadliest warrior central.  deal with it!

i meant to do this like, way long ago but havent had a chance to.  so remember the yakuza vs mafia episode of ‘deadliest warrior?  remember the tasty angry asian guy demonstrating the yakuza’s weapons and tactics?  his name is zero kazama, and he’s totally in love with me.  i know this because he came by and checked out my review of the episode and thankfully left a comment, which made stalking him waaaay easier.  i ended up @ his blog and found that he had a LOT to say about the outcome of that episode.  he brought up some great points that id never really considered, some of which i will share with u.

he als has some great stills of the assaults that poor Joe Torso must deal with on a weekly basis.  im gonna throw one in here just because.

-first good point:  have u ever actually looked at the numbers they put up after having declared a winner of each battle?  yeah, me neither.  two things ppl are quick to trust in this world without question:  doctors and computers.  i always assumed that the numbers wld make sense but, at least in this episode, they dont.  example:  they have the bat killing MORE people than the yakuza’s pistol (wtf?) and only two less than the grenade (??!).  yeah.  unlikely.

-second good point:  for some reason they dont use the same test settings for each comparable instrument.  why not?  wldnt u get more accurate results that way?

-third good point:  they never account for defensive moves or counter attacks.  like sure, an ice pick can kill u if u sit still and wait for it to be slid into ur spine, but what if u move out of the way?  tiny bit more difficult.

and so on and so forth.  zero REALLY picks apart like, every aspect of the show; its a very interesting read.  if u like the show and are interested in this nerd shit, go check it out!!

also, a fun fact!  the shaolin monk that will be plucking the freakin eyeballs out of his enemy in tonight’s episode (shaolin monk vs maori, tonite at 10 on spike tv!!)?  that’s zero’s roommate.

if ever there was a house that you SHOULD NOT ATTEMPT TO ROB under any circumstances, theirs is it.

WTF PHILADELPHIA: a followup

so i dont know how many of u cared about my rant abt philly’s 46th street train station.  the philly weekly sort of cared, tho, and they put it up @ their website.

the entry went up here on tuesday.  the next day, it went up @ the philly weekly.  this mornin?  there were ppl in the office workin.  construction.  on somethin.

now this is likely purely coincidental.  but as i am wont to take credit for everything all the time in my daily life, i will instead say, YOU’RE WELCOME, PHILADELPHIA.  please send all letters of praise and admiration to:  brokeymcpoverty@gmail.com.